DianaDwain Vintage: Sitting

This has been a strange week. Not busy, uneventful, contemplative. The world around me has been busy, but I've been sitting. * "Sitting here watching the wheels go round and round". First, and most impactful, was a death. Yesterday morning, a little girl almost 3 years old, died at home with her family. She had a failing heart. Her name was Lucy, and her parents' blog "Pray for Lucy" is one I follow. I encourage you to read it. Her family has endured so much pain, and now loss, and they are so brave through it all. I've been captivated and brought to tears so many times reading their words. Lucy's big brother Robbie is a friend of my son's from school. Her sister Corrie is friends with my daughter. They were both here for a party just last month. Their mom dropped them off and picked them up. We were cordial, I was smiles, we said our hellos and goodbyes. All the while, death waited for them. What must they have been going through that very day? A party day, birthday celebration? Her blog post today was so painful. The mom talked about how, when Lucy died, she and her husband brought Lucy into their bed and just laid with her until the morning. Each sibling came into the room to say good morning, and learned the news. I cannot even imagine the pain. Having to then say goodbye to her earthly body, never to hold her again in your arms.

This week, too, were tornadoes all over the midwest. Death, destruction, all over the news. Close to home, but not really impacting me. Could have been a movie, or a TV show. So much pain. Neighbors have cancer, children with newly uncovered learning issues, financial hardships, aging parents, drug abuse. But my worries of the week have been will my son pass his multiplication test, do well at baseball practice with the other boys, deal with another day of teasing at school for petty issues, wear his deoderant? Will my daughter always be so sensitive, will she ever get ready quickly in the morning, does she hate me? Will I ever find an anti-wrinkle cream that works, not crave wine at 5pm, lose my belly fat? And all the while, there is pain at ever turn in the lives of those around me. I wonder when it will be me? My family? It's bound to happen someday. Please, just not my children.

What can I contribute to others that will help heal their pain? Am I even equipped, interesting, able to help anyone? There are many flaws in systems that I see, but how to begin. The need for more Spanish translators at Parkland Hospital. The need for dieticians in the Spanish community. More focus on bullying in our schools. More exercise champions to motivate women and moms to get healthy. Drivers to take the elderly to and from the doctor, pharmacy, etc. Do I have the energy and skill to help? My apologies for any sadness. It's just one of those weeks.

I have a new list of songs on my iPod. Santigold "Disparate Youth", Fun. "We are Young", The Killers "When You Were Young", The White Stripes "Seven Nation Army", Coldplay "Talk".

Book recommendations

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James - I'd heard a lot about this erotic book series and was excited about how steamy it would be! Got through book one, it was great, recommended to two friends. I started to bog down in book two and stopped reading it, and in book three I cut straight to the epilogue and skipped the book entirely. Too much sex. I know, can't believe it myself. Got boring! Not enough creativity! ; ) However, call me when you need to cast the movie. I have LOTS o' ideas! Anyone else?

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson - Loved this book. A little nervous that it is sitting so close in proximity to Fifty... Written from an aging man's perspective as a memoir for his seven year old son, it is a train of thought book. Much religious discussion, history and plain old family drama. Won a Pulitzer Prize. Thought provoking and intelligent.